it’s like a bunch of fans got together and said, “hey, what if instead of Jennson and Richard being siblings because of lord Rahl, they had the same mother, Zedd’s daughter…. and what if Jennson showed up really early on and stole the boxes of Orden from Rahl, com’mon it makes sense since magic can’t touch her… and what if Richard didn’t kill Denna, thus turning the sword white and learning both sides of the sword’s magic, but instead let her live on the run from Rahl’s wrath…. and what if you didn’t need any fancy Book of Counted Shadows to decipher the Magic of Orden, just throw the boxes together and you’re suddenly the ruler of the world… and who cares about how it’s the Ralh line that spawns the pristinely ungifted…” (although in fairness, there was nothing that said Rahl wasn’t their father)

i’m a little proud that the moment i saw the girl with the goat, i said to myself “Jennson” but then i also thought, can’t be, this isn’t where she shows up.

despite the criticism, i rather enjoyed the episode. it was full of familiar characters even if their story was unfamiliar.

unlike Geller in previous episodes where he was completely evil and died that way. that still annoys me, though for the show it worked. it wasn’t Geller. they couldn’t have just invented a character, or used a known evil wizard or something?

all i care about right now, honestly truely, is Battlestar Galactica (and Bones, but no new episodes for a few weeks, i think)

last week, on Battlestar Galactica when Boomer FTL jumped away with Hera, damaging Galactica in the process… actual tears came to my eyes. i may have screeched “No!” at the tv. more than once in that episode. I told chief not to trust Boomer, but no, he didn’t listen to me. now look what happened.

and it looks like Roselin is in bad shape, like dying dying this time.

and i knew that Starbuck was imagineing that piano guy, and i figured it was her dad. i did not expect her to play All Along the Watchtower. they damn well better explain where that song came from. was it a colonial song, earth song or what?

there’s only a few more episodes left. i will probably be bawling by the end of it.

I liked it for a completely non-canon episode. in this episode we learn about an ancient Seeker who fell in love with his Confessor, and apparently lost his mind to her power… to the point where their wizard had to step in and get the Confessor to commit suicide to free the Seeker from her power, but instead drove the Seeker to killing innocent people in his rage… and from this we learn that Richard and Kahlan can really really never be together.

i was entertained, but not overly impressed. i prefer episodes that somehow relate to the books.

i totally called the tracer cloud at the end … and i wonder where Zedd is going to hide the box. back in the Westlands maybe? that’s where the next episode takes place. (i saw gars in the previews, too). in the book, i think they give the box to traitorous brother Michael, who promptly turns it over to Lord Rahl.

i actually want to fast forward though this flash-backy nonsense. i don’t think i’ll miss anything.

now that’s cute. Richard goes from being happy that his dad’s alive to despair that Kahlan ain’t real.

are we going to get an explanation as to how stars can appear in front of the moon (or rather what they are, cause they aren’t stars) or are the makers of this show so ignorant of astronomy?

more flash backs. fasty forwardy. my god. this whole show is staged flash-backs. thank you, but i’ve seen these episodes already.

yeh, if those are stars, the people who made this show are idiots.

why did they invent this chick when they could have used Nadine?

cue flashback. nice abs Richard.

ok. so if Darken Rahl is acting out the part of Anna. . . is that Darken Rahl kissing Richard? ewwww.

is it me, or does Giller look like he could be Rahl’s brother? i hope he’s still a good guy.

methinks that Richard isn’t going to give away the location of the box. he is the Seeker, after all.

so it’s Kahlan’s love for RIchard that brings him out of the spell. yawn. i would have rather Richard figure it out on his own.

i don’t think Giller was mantioned by name. surely he’ll return in another episode.

next week’s trailer looked good, albeit non canon.

ever since i read the Chainfire trilogy a couple of weeks ago, i don’t enjoy this show as much as i used to. i know the end of the story now, and that this whole boxes of orden quest is nothing in the scheme of things. Richard didn’t even memorize the correct Book of Counted Shadows.

as far as non-canon episodes go, this wasn’t too bad. at least it served the purpose of explaining that male confessors aren’t suppose to live… but then it defeated the purpose of that by letting it live. but really, the show is owned by Disney; no way Disney would kill a baby.

well, at least i wasn’t completely wrong in my predictions.
next week looks like another non-canon episode.

Dualla’s suicide … damn. … she felt a bit of happiness then killed herself because she had no hope of feeling that way again. damn.

i really would not have thought Ellen was the final Cylon. on SyFy Portal they posted an article breaking down the suspects for the final Cylon and i dismissed Ellen as an obvious ‘no’. i thought it would be Gaeta, especially since he had a whole webisode series devoted to him.

as for Starbuck… she died on Earth and her ship was destroyed. so she and her ship are an exact replica of themselves. just like the final five are replicas of themselves who died on earth 2000 years ago. is Starbuck now a Cylon, and if so, was she a Cylon before? was earth originally populated by human who developed a replica/cloning technology so when they died they were remade as Cylons? or what makes the replicas? something on Earth? something outside of Earth? a machine/technology? were the final five really born in the colonies? or were they created by the Cylons/Earth-Cylon technology and planted in the colonies? are they some kind of technological reincarnation placed in the genetic code of the colonial humans?

and since the ancient earthlings/13th colony are Cylon, does that mean that the original humans who left Kobol for earth, designed Cylons and were overrun by them? or were the Cylons created on Kobol and went out to be a 13th colony on their own? is my knowledge of Battlestar universe history really messed up and i’m making completely wrong assumptions?

i’m sure i’ll find out soon enough. i could go back to the battlestar wiki encyclopedia, but that site is usually so slow, i get frustrated.

my understanding is that the series has promised to answer all questions, so i shall be patient and learn them.

next week looks like a colonial civil war to mirror the Cylon civil war.

firstly, i understand bringing Zedd into the story instead of Gellar and giving Richard and Kahlan the B plot with the attempt Rahl assassination. they are the main characters of the series and thus need to be main characters in the episodes even if that’s not how it was in the book.
that said, not having Gellar did lose something. i miss that moment where you realize that he died because Rachel’s doll no longer spoke. then when the good guys come along they put everything together and see that Gellar died a hero. of course, they couldn’t kill Zedd to get the same effect.
why couldn’t Chase have been in the episode? he could have been the one to save Rachael in the woods. they must not be planning on making the rest of the books. i know Rachael was in Stone of Tears with Chase. and i understand she’s in the final trilogy.
i went in to this episode with high expectations. i understand that compromises were made with the sourse material and i’m okay with that. but my god. Rachael was the one who finally stood up to the princess and locked her in the box. they did not show how clever and brave she was. and most importantly, Rachael does not belong with that cook lady.

the previews show something about a baby that’s evil so they must destroy it, but Richard doesn’t want to kill the baby. and there’s Mord Sith. it looked all very dramatic and important, but i don’t remeber any damned thing about a baby. maybe it’s going to be a confessor’s son, because they have to kill those.

i’ll reserve judgement.

this has been my favorite episode.

omg omg omg. in the previews…
Rachael. i saw Rachael. i’m such a freak. there’s tears in my eyes.
i love this damned stupid show.
i’d forgotten her importance until now. that she was given one of the boxes of orden to carry (by wizard Gellar? of course it’s Zed in the previews). omg i gotta settle down.
i can’t wait until next week.
while Wikipedia-ing Wizards First Rule and Rachael i find out that she re-appears in the Chainfire books which i have sitting on a shelf, but never read. damnit. this is what i should have done on my vacation.

oh look, Tesla’s still alive. i’m so surprised.

i’m guessing Methos is going to get killed and Will has to fill in with his powers of observation.

what do the Cabal want from Ashley if it isn’t intel? her blood? they could just take it without her consent. why do they need her cooperation?

meanwhile, back in the labyrinth, the boys have a pissing contest.

let me see, tasks geared towards talents. wouldn’t that mean that the invisible girl should be invisible? gee, that’s a difficult riddle. why are they getting naked? this is dumb.

if they’re supposed to work together, why aren’t Magnus and Vampire working together? have they not figured that out? or maybe they’re not supposed to.

and Methos and Jack the Ripper have a touching moment where they vent their emotions and reconcile. i’m moved. truely. *cough* now they’re buddies again.

why did they drug Ashley?

ooo Magnus looks a little jealous that Will got nekkid with invisible chick.

now suddenly Methos’ magic youth suit stops working and he gets old and dies. oh well. no more Methos. but not before telling Will he must solve another riddle. this was too easy… nice.

Ashley and Henry are escaping. that’s too easy. they’re doing just what the Cabal wants. but what is that?

i’m predicting that either Henry or Ashley has been brainwashed into stealing the vampire blood.

or invisible Clara is the spy? nah, it’s probably Jack the ripper, since Methos is dead.

Ashley woke up. she’s gonna steal the blood. i bet the woke in her her father’s superpower of transportation.

yup yup.

not bad.

shame about Methos, tho.

anyhow

the Instinct episode was stupid. no biggie. fine for background entertainment. then i put on Revelations part 1 and who should cross my screen… Methos.

mutherfucker.

first Joe, now Methos. who’s next Duncan Mc Leod of the Clan Mc Leod?

back when the internet was new and exciting and it took 30 minutes to download a 20sec *.wav file (there were no MP3s), i collected a bunch of sound clips from my favorite movies and TV shows. some i used to customize windows sounds (ie, when i shut down my computer I’d hear Hal “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that”), other sounds were purely for my own entertainment or to show friends, hey, look what I found… it’s the Goblin King singing the opening to “Magic Dance”. so naturally, i had several Highlander clips.

one i recall in particular…

Methos (to Duncan): I killed, but i didn’t just kill 50, I didn’t kill 100, i killed a thousand. i killed ten thousand. . . and i was good at it. and it wasn’t for vengeance, it wasn’t for greed; it was because i liked it. Cassandra was nothing. her village was nothing. and do you know who i was? I was death. Death on a horse. when mothers warned their children that the monster would get them… that was me. I was the nightmare that kept them awake at night. is that was you want to hear? the answer is yes. oh yes.

and yes, i just typed that from memory. i might google it to see if the quote is even accurate, assuming that some other idiot out there has it memorized.

ha! yes. here you go. link about 2/3 the way down.

but i’m on a tangent, and this has nothing to do with the episode of Sanctuary that i’m watching right now. in fact it’s been paused for quite some time so i could right this and revel in the fact that Methos has returned. except he’s not Methos anymore. he’s Dr James Watson. stupid show. I hope he has a sword.

stupid show. now he’s the real Sherlock Holmes. idiocy. why do shows feel it necessary to drag in real and/or well known literary figures? rather than create their own characters, they draw on ones everyone’s already familiar with. it’s a cop out.

Dr. Magnus’ “gift” was longevity, yet longevity came with the other “5’s” gifts. well, 3 of the others, anyway. she got gypped if you ask me.

i wasn’t paying too much attention at the beginning of the show. i think either Methos or Jack the Ripper is a double agent, but i don’t know which one. probably Methos.

the invisible girl, descendant of the invisible man, is annoying. weak melodrama. blah blah blah. you have the power, if only you believe in yourself.

the episode ends with Dr Magnus discovering that the lost vampire city they were going to, to retrieve the last vial of vampire blood from has been destroyed whilst Ashley and Henry have been captured by the Cabal.

on to part 2.